Borrowing Belief: The confidence you borrow before you find your own

More than 7 in 10 of all professionals have experienced self-doubt at work. Worrying about performance, ability, other’s perceptions, or work impact can be anything from mildly irritating to absolutely debilitating.  Self-doubt can feel so paralysing and can be career limiting.

It can be hard to change when self-doubt holds you back. This has an evolutionary reason, because self-doubt serves a purpose; many years ago, self-doubt could keep you alive. Now it can prevent you from making a fool of yourself or taking on more than you can handle. It still serves to protect you. Therefore, changing your level of self-doubt can be hard and limiting thoughts can persist. 

Bandura, a pioneering psychologist from Stanford University reshaped how self-doubt is understood. He found that your belief in your own capability is shaped not only by your experiences but also crucially by the encouragement and confidence shown by others. Sometimes, before we believe in ourselves, we can borrow someone else's belief in us.

Borrowed belief is the confidence we gain through someone else's faith in our potential. It is someone else recognising capability that we haven't yet fully recognised ourselves. When someone believes you’re capable, you are often willing to do things you might otherwise avoid. By doing things that take you outside your comfort zone, you can grow and develop.

Many clients I have worked with who achieve career success have people in their corner. These people champion and support them, not just celebrating successes but supporting them when things go wrong. Clients say things like ‘My line manager really believes in me and gives me so many opportunities’. Or: ‘My director always volunteers my name for interesting projects and is a supporter of mine in senior meetings’. You cannot underestimate the powerful impact in your career of having someone else lend their belief to you. That someone else could be family or friends, however, it can have even greater impact when it is someone in the workplace, and greater still when it is someone’s line manager. As a leader this is vital information as you can lend your belief so that others can fulfil their potential. It is a powerful way of motivating and developing people and enhancing performance.

3 tips for leaders to create borrowed belief in their team

1.    Communicate a belief in the person and their potential, not just their skills

It can be easier to express belief in someone when it is for a specific skill that has been evidenced such as a specific soft skill (for example communicating) or technical skills (for example accounting skills). This is often the classic feedback that is given at work in performance reviews when a manager feeds back specially against objectives as to how well someone has performed that year.  A skill is something you develop and use, but it is just one part of you, and often people think of skills as something they acquire (common language in skills development), like a tool or technique that you can bring out and use in certain situations.

However, when you express belief in a person’s potential, not a specific skill, then you are expressing belief in the fundamental value of who that person is, and who they can become. For example, ‘I believe in you and you have talent’ or ‘I can see great potential in you.’ These may not be specific, but they lend themselves to borrowed belief much more effectively as they show belief in the whole person, not just part of the person. Mentors often do this effectively cheerleading and supporting their mentees in their entire career development. As humans we need to be seen and valued for who we are, not what we achieve. Achievement flows from the feeling of being valued, feeling valued does not necessarily follow achievement.

This encourages people to step into opportunities they might otherwise avoid because the belief they are borrowing is about something intrinsically inside of them. It is part of them and what we believe is part of us is unwavering.

I have experienced this first hand. When going through a tough time in my life, I borrowed belief in me from someone who holds a very senior position in a role I admire. He said about me to a colleague: ‘She is made of stern stuff.’ The fact that the belief was expressed as something I am made of, not something I was doing, or a skill I have, really impacted me in a positive way. I come back to that sentiment whenever I find things difficult and it helps me to be resilient in many situations.

2.    Keep believing even when things go wrong

Borrowed belief is tested when things go wrong. If you have told someone you believe in their potential, but when they mess up, you reprimand them or reduce their responsibilities you signal to them that you no longer believe in them, that your belief rests on perfection. People cannot borrow belief that has conditions. Allowing people to sometimes make mistakes, take risks and fail is all part of growth.

3.    Show belief to others - don’t keep it hidden

If you tell someone they have potential, but never advocate for them in public, nor nominate them for opportunities, then your belief is intention without action. Belief should lead to action and opportunity.

Reflections

Who have you borrowed belief from in your career?

And whose belief are you helping to build today?

Would you like to develop yourself or your team? Contact us now for a chat to find out how we can help.